However, you can’t turn back time cause you’re not God and you don’t have superpower which enables you to do so. So, unfortunately for you, you have to suffer and now you realised that you are being fooled by your own foolish act. The person that was being fooled by you doesn’t seem to bother cause maybe that person don’t really mind nor care of what is happening cause maybe that person has some back-up plans. Every time you had the thoughts of telling the truth, you just can’t cause you’re not daring enough but you want to cause it’s the right thing to be doing as lying is no longer an easy task and slowly your mind is tired of all the indecisive decisions and you give up and break-down. Well, since that person rarely know you and you rarely know the person too, it’s like you’re wasting your tears for someone totally not important in your life. I said you’re wasting cause simply tears are very precious. Then you finally realised that you’re tearing up cause you just want it to be but it just can’t as it’s not even real, it’s all just pretend.

Having to pretend everything is fine is totally not fine. This required more efforts than you could ever think it is going to be. It’s like you thought the effort you’ll need to do this is about one plate of chicken rice but it’s not. The efforts that you’ll be needing is about two plates of Nasi Pandang instead, two plates, that’s a lot I’ll tell you. When you pretend, it’s like you’re lying but not bad lies I suppose. As when you’re pretending, you don’t want to show that person your inner you or you want to be mysterious or you want to hide those exceptional feelings away or you just want to show that person that you’re fine and nothing’s bothering you so that person don’t have to worry much about you.

You did all this pretending just so you know that you’re at least doing a good deed to that person of not hurting that person too much. Pretending also means that you have to come up with loads of excuses but now, there isn’t any more good excuses available in your mind cause your mind is now blocked and you just feel loss in direction, easily said, you’re totally confused. So now, the only thing left in your mind is that will the truths reveal itself one day or you have to continue to pretend everything’s ok like as if it’s part of your lifelong-job.

Enough nattering for now, Siti Noorashikin should head off to her bed and get her rest before her little version of grandfather clock dings at 1am. She needs her rest as later on, since now is already tomorrow which is today, she will be going out, having fun with her closest friends. Siti Noorashikin really can't wait to go out with them. Siti Noorashikin is toodle-ing you readers reading this. Since, this is a long post of nattering (Actually it's not that long, she could make it longer but nahh, she doesn't want to.) if you read this till the end of this very last sentence's full-stop, she just want to shout out to you that, she loves you for reading. (Let's bold the word reading.)